Programme 1 March 1st 2002

Nini Liu

Nini runs a Chinese Restaurant. But you'd be lucky to get more than a bowl of rice out of this tight player.

Ian Dobson

Sounds like Frank Skinner, drinks like Frank Sinatra, dresses like Frankenstein.

Gary Jones

Gary was on a TV documentary losing half his tank in Vegas. Then they repeated the programme and he went skint !

Chandra Khajuria

Chandra never bluffs, he just always believes he's got the best hand.

Mike Magee

Well if Mystic Mike turns up to play he must know he's gonna win.

Jac Arama

Good old Jac, he makes more calls than the Avon Lady.

'Barmy' Barny Boatman

Did you ever meet a commentator who could play ?

Programme 2 March 8th 2002

Padraig Parkinson

Fearless, peerless, seldom beerless.

Phil Hellmuth jnr

How are the French lessons going Phil ?

Kevin O'Connell

Millionaire medallion man Kevin is so flash he'd ask for an upgrade in a lift.

Willie Tann

Willie 'The Dice Man' Tann. When he's not shooting doubles at the table he's doing double shots at the bar.

Lise Vigezzi

Forget about the World Cup, if 'The Pink Lady' wins Late Night Poker the French will party for a month.

Jon Shoreman

Jon is busy promoting Heads up poker. If he still can't get a result he may invent a one player version !

Ken Lennaard

'The Top Hat' was the second best Monopoly player in Sweden. A bit like being the second best looking bloke in ABBA.

Programme 3 March 15th 2002

Joe 'The Elegance' Beevers

When Joe was a kid his go-kart had a personalised number plate and his Action Man wore Armani. Nowadays though, he's a bit over the top.

Melissa Hayden

Mellissa the Mouth. Expect The Ginger Whinger to wind up Korosh.

Dave 'Devilfish' Ulliott

Who?

Robert 'le dangereux' Cohen

Ran rings round Phil Helmuth last time, but will Devilfish and co find him so 'dangereux' ? Neux, I don't think seux.

Korosh

'The missing Persian'. He's not all there.

Jean-Bernard Bot

Taught Pascal's kids to play tennis. Maybe he taught Pascal to play back against Aces !

Julian Gardner

Jooles 'the kid' Gardener will only be playing if he can get the day off from school.

Programme 4 March 22nd 2002

Ram Vaswani

Ram could get lost in a phone box, but he always knows who to call.

Pascal Perrault

Poker Personality of the year, Pacsal 'the Poisoner' Perrault runs a Parisian pharmacy. Specialises in rub-down ointment.

Chip Winton

We asked for more American champions, so they sent us the 1999 cigar man of the year !

Colette Docherty

Sober, level headed Irish professional. Now look up oxymoron in the dictionary.

Asher Derei

'Ash the Tash' Derei. Looks like that French copper, Inspecter Clueless.

Liam Flood

The David Colman of Poker. A classic Liam insight: ' Well, it's even money but he's a good favourite'.

Adam Heller

My mum thinks he's the best looking player on the show. Thanks Mum.

Programme 5 March 29th 2002

Malcolm Harwood

Does anyone still believe he's a 'Rock' after last year's final ?

Vicky Lincoln

Mark Strahan once called her a 'no hoper', so she's got every chance.

Ben Roberts

Poker's Mr Nice Guy. He's harder to wind up than a clockwork blancmange.

Henry Nowakowski

Henry's idea of slow play is only using one hand to push all the chips in.

Fabrice Soulier

Young, talented, good looking… get him Henry !

Daniel Negreanu

Sees more flops than Leslie Grantham's agent.

Ross Boatman

Quite simply the best poker player in our house.

Programme 6 April 5th 2002

Markus Golser

Tell your barber to buy a new pudding bowl Markus, that one went out with Mudd.

Dave Welch

The self styled 'Ambassador of Poker.' Looks like he scoffed all the Ferrero Rocher himself.

'Mad' Marty Wilson

Marty is the founder member of the Simon Trumper Fan Club. So, he really is mad then.

Robin Keston

Refer to the previous form guide; there really aren't two interesting things to say about Robin.

Gary Bush

Subtitles available on teletext.

Victoria Coren

Recently disappointed by the sudden withdrawal of a column!
(Complain to the Observer)

Surinder Sunar

A successful publican who enjoys a little recreational poker on the side.

Programme 7 April 12th 2002

Simon 'Aces' Trumper

What can I say about Simon that he hasn't already said himself… sometime in the last half hour.

Carlo Citrone

Won £100,000 last year. Spent £99,000 on hair gel. Citrone, that's Italian for Lemon isn't it ?

David Colclough

Paul Gasgoine on speed. There's only one natural blond in this heat… Simon Trumper.

Peter Costa

Poker's answer to Pam Ayres. He used to sell chips for a living; Now he gives them away.

Charalambos Xanthos

Bambos own a hotel in London. That's the only checkin' you'll get out of him.

Debbie Berlin

If you know someone who tells more boring poker stories than Debbie…, tell Marcel Luske I said hello.

Ali Sarkeshik

When they asked Will Smith if he wanted to play Ali he said 'OK, but not six card high-lo !'