A weekend spent with gnomes

[ReggieK]

Awight?

Friday night I was happily sitting down the boozer, supping on my 14th Kroney and eating a packet of plain Walkers with a pickled egg in the top when I got a text off my mate Bryan
It read "Reg, want to help me with my gnomes tomorrow and then flog them on Sunday at the car boot? 50/50 on profits"
I grinned and phoned him back, I arranged to be round his house at 9am Saturday morning

Saturday I was up and dressed by 845, seemed like the middle of the night, but I exited the house with a bacon and egg sarnie in one hand and a Benson in the other

Bryan was already busy, doing his cement clay mix and getting some moulds ready
He'd got moulds for big gnomes, little fisherman moulds, fish you can hang and greyhound moulds
We worked til dinner time where we popped down the pub for a few Kroneys, I had a steak n kidney pud he had Suffolk ham, eggs n chips

We got back to work at 1, and finished at 6.
All told we'd done nearly 60 gnomes between us, and Bryan said he'd paint them up with his quick drying paint, and he'd see me at 6am

I thought what a time to be up, but soon forgot as I went to see Landlord Mike, and got chatting to Boiler and Scottish Ted
We had a few rounds of crib, then I decided to try the fruity in there
He's got a new one- Family Guy, and I thought first board with a £10 cash stack then maybe worth the force
£53 later it caved, mega streak going for a nice £140, afterboard I collected the £3 cash stack
By then it was close to 11, so a curry supper was required
I walked to Sanjays curry palace and he said "Chicken vindaloo, special rice, onion bhaji, 4 spicy poppadoms and a peshwari naan?"
I grinned and said "Spot on pal"
He went through to put the pans on, and by 1130 I was sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by bags, bottles of Stella and an ashtray of Bensons
By 1142 my plate was clear, I got the bags and empty bottles and threw them into the garden of these pair of posh nobheads who live opposite
A few more bottles of Stella later, and 4 bensons and 2 doobies and I decided to hit the hay

The alarm went at 530am, I groaned as I got up and kicked the bog door open and ran a deep bath
It was tempting to doze laying there puffing on a Benson, but I'd promised Bryan to help, and I knew them gnomes would raise a fair few quid

I heard the engine of his van just as I'd finished cooking my bacon and egg sarnies, so I exited the house and got in the passenger seat
I handed him a sarnie and we set off on the half hour journey
Going through Sudbury I handed him and lit doobie and he handed over a tin of Carlsberg Export from his glove pocket. I popped the tab and had first swig and he had the the bottom half

By 640 we were there, already busy and we got a premium pitch due to Bryan knowing Ted the market arranger bloke

It was heavy work unloading the gnomes, but half hour later found us sitting on deck chairs puffing on a well deserved Benson

10 minutes later some old boy had bought a stone greyhound for the woman he was carrying on with, a nice £25 in the bin
Then we had an influx of London types, who loved Bryan's artwork and bought 20 gnomes at £12 each
I grinned and offered to go to the hot dog stall, Bryan handed over a 20 and I got us 4 jumbos with fried onions and tomato sauce, and a tin of Doc Pep each to wash em down

Midday came and we'd nearly sold up, just a few fish and little gnomes remaining
They soon went and we high fived and got into Bryans van and headed to the big pub on Ipswich ring road for a roast beef dinner and 5 pints of Kroney each

We were back at my gaff by 3, where we had a count up, £940
He gave me £450, as the pitch and diesel and whatnot came to £40

All in all, a different but cool weekend
_________________
The coalition is waning and dying, the only option is to vote Labour in 2015~ Teacher Dave

[tommymac]

[X] 1st
[ ] read
_________________
#whenwillitend

[cottlad]

gnome pics or gtfo
_________________
Fortune favours only the prepared mind!
http://cottlad.blogspot.com/

[eye n eye]

Nice little earner there Reginald, happy days

[stowjon]

Epic tale as ever Reg but a few point's

1: Walkers Plain c/w pickled egg - i am assuming this is because they had NO steak & Onion?

2: Why have you not chased the posh london types from YOUR area - I am assuming it can only be because she is fit and your poking it while her old man is at work?

3: £450? - i thought this was a 'profit' share surely the paint and cement/clay should have come out of the £940 aswell

4: pub on Ipswich Ring Road - roast beef check, 5 pints check, rinsing the frooty NO check!
which pub was it?
_________________
"There's not enough hippies to save our lives, We need more hippies"