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ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 11:08 am
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Eeeeee awight?

Last Thursday at the pub game I go to I was talking with one of the regs called Fred, well he came up with an idea for the next night.
He's got a pretty penny or 2, and he suggested coming round his the next night and helping him on some 50 tournaments on Sky poker, and we'd go halves on any winnings.
He also roped in my pals Jase and Stu.
Jase was up for it, as his latest flame had blown him out that night, because "she couldn't fackin handle me mate, I was up for it 8 times a night and she wanted sleep the stupid mare"
He said all this in a booming voice in front of the poker gang, and the darts team, they all looked at him in a wondering way, but me and Stu chuckled and I said "Oh my days mate, glad you binned her, she don't sound the full ticket guv"
Stu laughed and said "My missus never puts it out mate, I'd go 2s up with your sort Jase but I guess its too late now"
We all laughed and downed our pints

Anyway, next day, Friday, it was 11am and Stu phoned
"Oi oi Reg, just got a call from Fred, he's been down Tesco and got us 6 crates of lager and some voddie and whisky"
I laughed and said "You sure that's enough for us mate?"
Stu chuckled and said "Maybe not pal, you gonna pick me up later around 7?"
I said "Yeah course pal, we gonna stop round Freds the night? We can kip on his floor eh?"
Stu said "Yeah he don't mind mate, plus after the games he's got lined up we might go after hours down the club"
I grinned and said "Ok mate, well I'm about to make a fry up, what you doing today?"
He said "I'm taking a walk down the pub, me missus Sarah don't like me hanging round the house"
I said "She ok with you staying out tonight mate?"
He said "I guess so bud, I ain't told her yet"
I laughed and sung to him "Thumbprints on your collar, she made a fool of youuuu"
Stu chuckled and said "Seeya later mate, I will tell the bitch I'm going to Freds whether she like it or not"
I said "Seeya at 7 pal"
Then I lit up a Benson and drawed deeply on that while I started frying bacon and eggs

So at 6.45 I left the house, I was dressed in my blacker than black jeans, red fashionable jumper, hunting cravat, trilby and crocodile shoes

Stu's gaff is on this estate so I parks outside his drum and go and bang on the door
Sarah answers and says "Reg, what the hell you doing? Stu's not allowed out"
I laughed heartily and said "Ain't he now? Where is he then Sarah?"
She said "He's about to hoover the place and he doesn't want to see you"
I said "We shall see about that love, go get him"
She sighed and a minute later Stu stood there looking down at the floor, I said "Bloody hell mate, why ain't you told your bird you're going out?"
He blushed and said "She won't let me pal"
I grabbed him and shut the door, he giggled and we hotfooted it to the motor, we jumped in and I floored it just as Sarah opened the door looking purple with anger

We got to Freds at 7, I parked behind Jases white XR3i and we knocked on Freds door
He answered and handed us each a tin of Stella, "Get your laughing gear round this lads, first game starts in 5 minutes"
We went in his front room, he's got the full whack in there, nice pool table in the centre, white leather settee, chandeliers, and a roaring log fire in the hearth.
Jase was already sitting on the settee supping on a Stella, and flicking the ash from his doobie into a big lion shaped ashtray
"Oi oi Stu, oi oi Reg" he shouted, and we shook hands and bumped fists
"You had a good day mate?" I asked him
He rolled his eyes and said "Not so good pal, I blew 200 on roulette in Billys, then got gutrot from the cafe after I ate a dodgy hot dog"
I grinned and said "Fack that mate, let's have another one of these Stellas shall we?"
Jase grinned and Fred looked round and said "Bring the fridge in here Jase and plug it in next to the laptop"
Jase laughed and went and got the half size fridge from the kitchen and dumped it next to us

By this time the game had started and Fred was shouting out "Pocket aces guys, what do you reckon?"
We came up with a consensus on that hand, and we'd come up with one on each hand coming up.
Before long we were chip leaders in this particular tournament
First prize was just over a grand, so we settled back with our Stellas and Bensons and doobies and talked amongst ourselves until Fred shouted out hands to play

At 8.30 we were getting a bit peckish so Stu said "Where's the best place for grub about these parts Fred?"
Fred said "There's loads, but how about I get us Domino pizza? I got loads of offer tickets for that"
We nodded and eventually phoned and ordered 4 xl hot pizzas and 8 lots of garlic bread and extra garlic dips, and some chicken dippers for Freds Labrador Tomtom

The grub soon arrived and we were tucking in when Fred said "Well the bubbles burst boys, we are in the money"
We nodded and I tipped a load of chilli flakes onto my pizza and dug in

8 minutes later I was done, and was lighting up a Benson when Fred said "Pocket 4s in my blind, theres a pussy raiser and 2 callers"
Jase said "Go all in Fred"
Stu said "Call it Fred"
I said "Bugger it Fred, just call"
So Fred called and saw a flop of A4J
He checked, the original raiser went all in, the bloke next to him went all in. and we said "You gotta call it now mate"
He did, they both had AJ, turn was an 8, river a K, a lovely treble up to see us way chip leaders

Soon enough we were final tabling, still chip leaders and bb to some northern monkeys sb, he'd already slagged Fred off for reraising with 72 and showing

Half hour went by, we were surrounded by Stella tins, the Dominos boxes, a full ashtray, and the room was thick blue with smoke.
Fred had AK on the button, and the northern monkey next to him had put in a 7xbb raise, the consensus was to shove em in.
We did so and it got back to the northerner who called with AQ
Board came 34992, lovely jubbly and we felt very confident now

It got to heads up, the oppo shoved and Fred had 99, we said call, he did and his oppo had A10
Board came 88KK2, lovely, and Fred had 1070 for the win.
"I'll give you the cash now lads if you like, I've got it upstairs" he said
We agreed on 250 each and Fred to keep the rest, we bunged that in our pockets and I saw it was getting on for 1130pm, and time for the club
I said "We going clubbing now lads?", they all nodded and we set off
The club was only a 4 minute walk away, and on the way there we each had a slash up against the front door of one of Jases ex birds, Jase was cracking up as a river ran from her red door, down the steps , over the pavement and under her motor

The club was heaving, loads of skirt by the looks of it, and we eagerly went inside after paying our 2 entry fee
Up the bar and I said "Right lads, what you all having?"
Stu said "Oi oi I'll have a Kroney and a drop of Grouse whisky"
Jase said "Yeah get me 3 bottles of Corona and one of them Sourz"
Fred said "I'll have a pint of Carling tops"
I got myself 2 pints of Kroney and settled up and we took our drinks over to a table right next to 4 blonde haired girls
We bumped fists and I went over to them and said "Oi oi girls, want to come join us over ere?"
They looked worried and one of the blondies said "We are waiting for our boyfriends"
I laughed and said "Jeez, don't worry about them, we are here now and will be your boyfriends for the night"
They laughed and I waved the lads over and we each took a girl each and introduced ourselves
I bagged a nice sort called Suzie, she was a student at Colchester and she originally was from Cardiff
I said "Yeah we are more sophisticated down this way love than your blokes in Wales, now are you having a drop of Chardonnay or one of them blue wickeds?"
She grinned and said "I'll have a pint of lager Reg"
I shook my head and said "I'll get you half love, don't want you spewing your ring up later", I gave her a wink and headed to the bar

Anyway, after about an hour and 10 more drinks each we all fancied a kebab, so we staggered out of the club in search of the Turkish kebab joint just up the road
8 of us stumbled in, there was about 10 in there already but we barged them aside and put in our orders of 8 large doners, 8 large chips and 8 tins of Pepsi to wash em down with
Soon enough I heard the magic words whispered to me "Chilli sauce mate?"
I grinned and looked up at the gap toothed Turk and said "Shovel her on deep pal"
He laughed and bunged loads of sauce onto my steaming doner, I looked round and the other 7 were chomping away, grease dripping onto the floor and Pepsi spilt all over

We'd all finished within 7 minutes, and the girls were invited back to Freds, but they had to go back to their communal house somewhere, so we gave em a tongue bashing and said goodbye
When they turned the corner Jase put his middle finger under each of our noses and said "Oi lads, this is what mine smelt like?"
Stu laughed and said "Captain Birdseye will be out of a job soon mate"
We cracked up and staggered back to Freds

Fred had got us all an arctic sleeping bag apiece, and at 3am saw us all snoring like pigs in his front room, still covered in a smoke filled haze.

At midday we were up and ready, all dressed and ready for a spot of grub and a fair few pints in Spoons
Mr. Green
uh-hu
Full House


Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Posts: 1132

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:53 pm
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great story Reg


cliffs:
lots of chuckling
lots of booze
lots of cheating at poker Angel
ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
Posts: 5759

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:47 pm
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Thats about the size of it Mr. Green
TheBlueBoy
Straight Flush


Joined: 11 Oct 2009
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Location: Just about done

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:51 pm
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And no drink driving. Cool
Bogus
At Won with No 28


Joined: 01 May 2008
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Location: Hendon (Deception Central)

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 5:52 pm
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Stu's mrs don't like him hanging round the house nd sends him to the boozer, then grounds him?? Is she farkin mental?
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ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
Posts: 5759

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 6:19 pm
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She's a bit tapped. She's one of them sorts who'll send him to the boozer then slag him when he comes back half cut and reeking of perfume Rolling Eyes
TerryC6475
Trips


Joined: 12 Apr 2012
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:50 pm
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tommymac
Chip Collector


Joined: 04 Jun 2009
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Location: walsall

PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:36 pm
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nice1 reg, should consider putting it all in a book Clap
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Roger Porter
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:06 pm
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TerryC6475 wrote:



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Roger Porter
ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
Posts: 5759

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:38 pm
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tommymac wrote:
nice1 reg, should consider putting it all in a book Clap


Good point, may well do
I did write a book in 96, well it was half a book
About 140 pages about a farmer who went on the rampage in Norwich after finding his missus in bed with his mate
uh-hu
Full House


Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Posts: 1132

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:20 pm
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ReggieK wrote:
tommymac wrote:
nice1 reg, should consider putting it all in a book Clap


Good point, may well do
I did write a book in 96, well it was half a book
About 140 pages about a farmer who went on the rampage in Norwich after finding his missus in bed with his mate


you are amongst friends Reg

was this 'farmer' you?...........
ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
Posts: 5759

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:32 pm
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No, he was my uncle Roger who is a sheep farmer
He's been nuts deep in his animals for years and me Aunt finally got fed up and carried on with the village postie Mr. Green
uh-hu
Full House


Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Posts: 1132

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:51 pm
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ReggieK wrote:
No, he was my uncle Roger who is a sheep farmer
He's been nuts deep in his animals for years and me Aunt finally got fed up and carried on with the village postie Mr. Green


lolz

Reg - are you the village postie? Laughing
ReggieK
The Guvnor


Joined: 16 Oct 2005
Posts: 5759

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:01 pm
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I used to be back when I was 18
I got sacked after 3 days after getting caught chucking mail into the bin Rolling Eyes
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