Other articles by Barny Boatman
Barmy Barny's Form Guide for Late Night Poker V
Programme 1 March 1st 2002
Nini runs a Chinese Restaurant. But you'd be lucky to get more than a bowl of rice out of this tight player.
Sounds like Frank Skinner, drinks like Frank Sinatra, dresses like Frankenstein.
Gary was on a TV documentary losing half his tank in Vegas. Then they repeated the programme and he went skint !
Chandra never bluffs, he just always believes he's got the best hand.
Well if Mystic Mike turns up to play he must know he's gonna win.
Good old Jac, he makes more calls than the Avon Lady.
'Barmy' Barny Boatman
Did you ever meet a commentator who could play ?
Programme 2 March 8th 2002
Fearless, peerless, seldom beerless.
Phil Hellmuth jnr
How are the French lessons going Phil ?
Millionaire medallion man Kevin is so flash he'd ask for an upgrade in a lift.
Willie 'The Dice Man' Tann. When he's not shooting doubles at the table he's doing double shots at the bar.
Forget about the World Cup, if 'The Pink Lady' wins Late Night Poker the French will party for a month.
Jon is busy promoting Heads up poker. If he still can't get a result he may invent a one player version !
'The Top Hat' was the second best Monopoly player in Sweden. A bit like being the second best looking bloke in ABBA.
Programme 3 March 15th 2002
Joe 'The Elegance' Beevers
When Joe was a kid his go-kart had a personalised number plate and his Action Man wore Armani. Nowadays though, he's a bit over the top.
Mellissa the Mouth. Expect The Ginger Whinger to wind up Korosh.
Dave 'Devilfish' Ulliott
Robert 'le dangereux' Cohen
Ran rings round Phil Helmuth last time, but will Devilfish and co find him so 'dangereux' ? Neux, I don't think seux.
'The missing Persian'. He's not all there.
Taught Pascal's kids to play tennis. Maybe he taught Pascal to play back against Aces !
Jooles 'the kid' Gardener will only be playing if he can get the day off from school.
Programme 4 March 22nd 2002
Ram could get lost in a phone box, but he always knows who to call.
Poker Personality of the year, Pacsal 'the Poisoner' Perrault runs a Parisian pharmacy. Specialises in rub-down ointment.
We asked for more American champions, so they sent us the 1999 cigar man of the year !
Sober, level headed Irish professional. Now look up oxymoron in the dictionary.
'Ash the Tash' Derei. Looks like that French copper, Inspecter Clueless.
The David Colman of Poker. A classic Liam insight: ' Well, it's even money but he's a good favourite'.
My mum thinks he's the best looking player on the show. Thanks Mum.
Programme 5 March 29th 2002
Does anyone still believe he's a 'Rock' after last year's final ?
Mark Strahan once called her a 'no hoper', so she's got every chance.
Poker's Mr Nice Guy. He's harder to wind up than a clockwork blancmange.
Henry's idea of slow play is only using one hand to push all the chips in.
Young, talented, good looking… get him Henry !
Sees more flops than Leslie Grantham's agent.
Quite simply the best poker player in our house.
Programme 6 April 5th 2002
Tell your barber to buy a new pudding bowl Markus, that one went out with Mudd.
The self styled 'Ambassador of Poker.' Looks like he scoffed all the Ferrero Rocher himself.
'Mad' Marty Wilson
Marty is the founder member of the Simon Trumper Fan Club. So, he really is mad then.
Refer to the previous form guide; there really aren't two interesting things to say about Robin.
Subtitles available on teletext.
Recently disappointed by the sudden withdrawal of a column! (Complain to the Observer)
A successful publican who enjoys a little recreational poker on the side.
Programme 7 April 12th 2002
Simon 'Aces' Trumper
What can I say about Simon that he hasn't already said himself… sometime in the last half hour.
Won £100,000 last year. Spent £99,000 on hair gel. Citrone, that's Italian for Lemon isn't it ?
Paul Gasgoine on speed. There's only one natural blond in this heat… Simon Trumper.
Poker's answer to Pam Ayres. He used to sell chips for a living; Now he gives them away.
Bambos own a hotel in London. That's the only checkin' you'll get out of him.
If you know someone who tells more boring poker stories than Debbie…, tell Marcel Luske I said hello.
When they asked Will Smith if he wanted to play Ali he said 'OK, but not six card high-lo !'
Semi Final 19th April 2002 - Final 26th April 2002
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