funny joke thread

[stowjon]

TWO PRAWNS

Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea , two prawns were swimming around.


One called Justin and the other called Christian.


The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.


Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;
I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'


A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'


Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.


Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.


Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.


All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.


Justin began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.


While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could

change him back into a prawn.


He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.


With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.


(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).


Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.


'Where's Christian?' he asked.


'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply.


Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.


As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.


He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'


Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'


Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'.........


(You're going to love this................................)

I found Cod.
I'm a Prawn again Christian'
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"There's not enough hippies to save our lives, We need more hippies"

[Nosssweat]

thread title very misleading

[madride]

Guy kept phoning me yesterday singing "Prince Charming" and "Stand and Deliver". I told him to piss of as he had the wrong number but he was adamant
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Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

[Chris_Austin]

Oh, it's that sort of thread is it? In that case...

Why did the man drown in his bowl of muesli?



He was pulled in by a strong currant.

[Bogus]

A man walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.

The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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Update TBC

[Bogus]

Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
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Update TBC

[pembo]

[Chris_Austin]

[Freddy Flares]

2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

It's the way I tell em.

[oneshotbob]

Some people thought I wouldn't get over my Phil Collins infatuation. Well take a look at me now.

[oneshotbob]

Wife: "I bet you can't go a whole day without telling a period joke"
Me: "You're on".

[TheBlueBoy]

I asked the Mrs for oral relief, 'what you want me to suck you off?' 'No, just shut the fcuk up'

[Jagster]

Two parrots stood on a perch

One says can you smell fish?

[SeanFoley]

A woman was in a coma for months.. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her.

They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

The nurses run back into the room. "What happened?!"

The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked."
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'Impatience for victory only guarantees defeat' - Louis XIV

[TheBlueBoy]

I was sexually assaulted by a group of mime artists...
They did unspeakable things to me.