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ThechipLeadV
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:13 pm
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barmybadger wrote:
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.












































































































DCSW7
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Joined: 14 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:28 pm
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A one-liner that makes you laugh?



Mr. Green
TheBlueBoy
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Joined: 11 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:42 pm
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DCSW7 wrote:
A one-liner that makes you laugh?



Mr. Green


We have a winner.
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:56 pm
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ok, last chance. I'm going for all 3 books

I had this weird dream last night. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. Funny thing is, I woke up this morning and couldn't find my pillow.

I bought the wife a pair of tortoise-shell slippers. It took her two hours to answer the door.

Who was born in a stable and has thousands of followers?
Red Rum
ThechipLeadV
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Joined: 17 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:43 pm
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pete thebet wrote:
ok, last chance. I'm going for all 3 books

I had this weird dream last night. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. Funny thing is, I woke up this morning and couldn't find my pillow.

I bought the wife a pair of tortoise-shell slippers. It took her two hours to answer the door.

Who was born in a stable and has thousands of followers?
Red Rum




pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:45 pm
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I walked into a butcher's shop and said 'Is that a sheep's head in the window?' The butcher said 'No, it's a mirror'
tjm8
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Joined: 09 Apr 2010
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Location: Cheshire

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:49 pm
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Just hired an Eastern European Au Pair, but it took her 2 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she is a Slo-vac
ThechipLeadV
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:41 pm
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tjm8 wrote:
Just hired an Eastern European Au Pair, but it took her 2 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she is a Slo-vac



madride
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Joined: 29 Jan 2006
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Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:25 am
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pete thebet wrote:
ok, last chance. I'm going for all 3 books

I had this weird dream last night. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. Funny thing is, I woke up this morning and couldn't find my pillow.


That's strange, I had a dream last night that I ate my pillow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone
_________________
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:28 pm
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Two oranges walked into a pub. One turned to the other and said 'Your round'
madride
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Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Posts: 2990
Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:44 am
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Police arrested a battery and a firework, they charged one and let the other one off
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Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
ThechipLeadV
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:35 am
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I went to the library the other day to get a book on Suicide.

Apparently they have stopped stocking them though as people stopped bringing them back.
X
Quads


Joined: 08 Oct 2009
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Location: Earth X

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:58 am
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What do you get if you cross a washed-out, embarrassing, tosser in a novelty wig; with an unimaginative, and poorly structured, promotional exercise?

Spoiler:
Rolling Eyes

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Homer wrote:
Among all creatures that breathe on earth and crawl on it there is not anywhere a thing more dismal than man is
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
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Location: TPT

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:55 pm
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You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She will say "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Shit, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?"
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:23 pm
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A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only clingfilm. The psychiatrist said "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
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