[Competition] Bright Lights, Late Nights and Fame at Last, Part 2

[madride]

2 dyslexics sitting in a flat. One says "Can you smell gas?" The other says "Gas? I can't even smell my own name"
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Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

[TheBlueBoy]

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper, he sold his soul to santa.

[darrensprengers]

TheBlueBoy wrote:
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper, he sold his soul to santa.

quality that

[TheBlueBoy]

Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic, he was found in a pool of his own vimto.

[penko910]

How about the oldest one in the book, about the dyslexic clubber, who got high when he took a 'd'

[pete thebet]

are we still accepting entries?

I said to the wife 'Do you fancy soixante neuf?'
She replied 'What am I going to do with sixty eggs?'

[pete thebet]

I was at the racecourse and this bloke said to me 'Do you want the winner of the next race?' I said 'No, I haven't got a big enough garden'

[pete thebet]

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

[TheBlueBoy]

Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.

[Brodders]

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking dog for sale"

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden and sure enough a labrador is sitting there. "You talk ?" he asks the dog. "Yep" he replies. "Wow - how does that work ?"

The dog says: "Well I discovered I could speak as a puppy. I wanted to help the government so I told MI6 and they sent me round the world sitting in rooms with world leaders. I was their most valuable spy for 12 years. After that I got a job at the airport where I thwarted 3 terrorist plots. Now, i'm pretty much retired.

The guy is amazed. He asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. The owner says £10. The guys is stunned - "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap ?"

The owner replies "He's such a liar - he didn't do any of that shit..."

[TheNightRyder]

Little Girl: (to little boy urinating in the corner of the playground) 'Whats that you got there then?'

Little Boy: 'Thats my willy'

Little Girl 'My Dad's got two of them, a small one for what you're doing and a big one for brushing the au pair's teeth with'

[Indestructible]

TheBlueBoy wrote:
Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.

Comp still open but may not be for long.

[eye n eye]

Indestructible wrote:

TheBlueBoy wrote:
Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.

Comp still open but may not be for long.

Keep it going until at least the end of December imo when there will probably be a spate of Christmas Cracker gags to keep the thread fresh

[Bogus]

DV - Lets take a crap photo and see what the THMF guys can do with it

BB - I can strike a crappier pose than you

DV - I doubt it

2 months on - DV/BB - Look at those cu*ts work it for £12.99 worth of shit.


PM me your addy and I'll send you 1 used copy with jizz on page 9 as I gave up and had a ****.
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TWUNTICUS MAXIMUS

[barmybadger]

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
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THMF 8 game champion 2010
twitter @barmybadger