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madride
Straight Flush


Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Posts: 2990
Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:22 pm
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2 dyslexics sitting in a flat. One says "Can you smell gas?" The other says "Gas? I can't even smell my own name"
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Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
TheBlueBoy
Straight Flush


Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Posts: 3945
Location: Just about done

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:10 pm
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper, he sold his soul to santa.
darrensprengers
Misclick


Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Posts: 7551

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:31 pm
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TheBlueBoy wrote:
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper, he sold his soul to santa.

quality that
TheBlueBoy
Straight Flush


Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Posts: 3945
Location: Just about done

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:41 pm
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Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic, he was found in a pool of his own vimto.
penko910
Full House


Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Posts: 1225

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:58 pm
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How about the oldest one in the book, about the dyslexic clubber, who got high when he took a 'd'
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:06 pm
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are we still accepting entries?

I said to the wife 'Do you fancy soixante neuf?'
She replied 'What am I going to do with sixty eggs?'
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:07 pm
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I was at the racecourse and this bloke said to me 'Do you want the winner of the next race?' I said 'No, I haven't got a big enough garden'
pete thebet
Trips


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 108
Location: TPT

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:08 pm
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What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
TheBlueBoy
Straight Flush


Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Posts: 3945
Location: Just about done

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:30 pm
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Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.
Brodders
Quads


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 1600

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:00 pm
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A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking dog for sale"

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden and sure enough a labrador is sitting there. "You talk ?" he asks the dog. "Yep" he replies. "Wow - how does that work ?"

The dog says: "Well I discovered I could speak as a puppy. I wanted to help the government so I told MI6 and they sent me round the world sitting in rooms with world leaders. I was their most valuable spy for 12 years. After that I got a job at the airport where I thwarted 3 terrorist plots. Now, i'm pretty much retired.

The guy is amazed. He asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. The owner says 10. The guys is stunned - "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap ?"

The owner replies "He's such a liar - he didn't do any of that shit..."
TheNightRyder
Two Pair


Joined: 02 Sep 2009
Posts: 70

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:14 pm
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Little Girl: (to little boy urinating in the corner of the playground) 'Whats that you got there then?'

Little Boy: 'Thats my willy'

Little Girl 'My Dad's got two of them, a small one for what you're doing and a big one for brushing the au pair's teeth with'
Indestructible
Royal Flush


Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 15760
Location: Final Table

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:00 pm
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TheBlueBoy wrote:
Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.


Comp still open but may not be for long. Very Happy
eye n eye
Full House


Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 1323

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:14 pm
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Indestructible wrote:
TheBlueBoy wrote:
Think this comp has been well and truly forgotten about.


Comp still open but may not be for long. Very Happy

Keep it going until at least the end of December imo when there will probably be a spate of Christmas Cracker gags to keep the thread fresh Very Happy
Bogus
At Won with No 28


Joined: 01 May 2008
Posts: 5245
Location: Hendon (Deception Central)

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:38 pm
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DV - Lets take a crap photo and see what the THMF guys can do with it

BB - I can strike a crappier pose than you

DV - I doubt it

2 months on - DV/BB - Look at those cu*ts work it for 12.99 worth of shit.


PM me your addy and I'll send you 1 used copy with jizz on page 9 as I gave up and had a ****.
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TWUNTICUS MAXIMUS

barmybadger
Closet Gooner


Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 4483
Location: nottinghamshire

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:51 pm
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A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
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THMF 8 game champion 2010
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